Saying “No” so You Can Say “Yes”

I am a “people pleaser”.

Always have been….I am always worried about how my decisions etc will impact those around me. And while this can be seen as something positive about me….it can turn into something negative when I can’t say no and over-commit to everything.

As a FT working mother of 4 kids, I HAVE to be able to say no to things. But it doesn’t come easy to me.  When we lived in SD I found myself in a situation where I had committed to too many things at once. Dominic and I were involved in our church, had various commitments almost every night of the week, time with extended family and then I had volunteered to help with a project at Isaac’s school.

I got involved after a plea for help from another parent when I realized that no one else was signing up….of course I decided that I would be the “rescuer-er”. So even though I didn’t have time, didn’t have a passion for the project, I agreed to help anyways.

And I was sinking.

I found myself frustrated and resentful that I “had” to be involved. And while no one made me sign up….I was angry that I had put myself in that situation. I went to a good friend and shared my predicament.

And she told me that I needed to back away from the project. “But I can’t do that…they are counting on me…how will that make me look?!”

And she told me that I was doing it for the wrong reasons, and that the other people involved would understand.

And so I backed out. I explained where I was at and prayed for grace and understanding. And you know what? I got it!

And it was as if a weight had been lifted….

Sometimes we find ourselves trying to do it all, handle everything, that we don’t leave any room for our God-sized dreams. Sometimes we have to say “no” so that we can say “yes” to the plans that God has for us.

But it is hard and what if people don’t understand?!

I have discovered in my own life that people are MUCH more gracious and understanding than I give them credit for. And when you share your heart with others….you will usually get grace in return.

So start praying about that Go-sized dream of yours…and be willing to let go of the things that are holding you back. It won’t be easy at first, and you may get some resistance….but I have found that when I am doing those things that God desires for me….the right doors open and it becomes less “work” and more fun! 😉

Do you have a hard time saying “no”? What stops you?? I’d love to hear how you plan to start saying “yes” to your dreams!


0 thoughts on “Saying “No” so You Can Say “Yes”

  1. Amy P Boyd

    We do tend to be harder on ourselves when we feel like we ‘have’ to say yes than others would be on us if we simply said no. I had a dear friend tell me once that if I say yes to a position that God did not call me to then I may take the position from one that is called but has been more timid to say yes.


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