31 Days of Seeking Him – Almost

31 Days of Seeking Him

It was October, so many years ago. I was sitting in my car in the parking lot at the bank I worked for and I was done.

For 10 years we had struggled. It hadn’t ever been easy really. Financially, emotionally…so many roadblocks and so many mistakes.

I was unsure of what the future would hold but I was also terrified of remaining in the state we had found ourselves. Contemptuous, angry, bitter…

I knew something had to change and I was so self absorbed and stubborn that I didn’t think I needed to do any of the changing. It is always easier to blame someone else isn’t it?

At that moment though I knew that I couldn’t live that way any longer. That day I almost walked away.

But God.

I know I have shared parts of our story here before, but this one bears repeating. God took our broken, our weary and worn out hearts and restored them.

It wasn’t easy and I struggled with change and forgiveness, but I had a small glimmer of hope that something may be different. And it was.

Painfully we worked through our greatest struggles, we started to fight FOR our marriage instead of against it. Laughter returned and the tears came less and less.

Today nearly 10 more years later I praise God that He stepped in and saved us. The fact that we have the opportunity to work together every day and enjoy it isn’t lost on me.

Yes I almost walked away. I was convinced there was no hope. Today though I fight for it, I share the ugly parts of our story so if there is someone else who is at their “almost”….they too can find hope.

It’s there friends. We have to be willing to seek God and trust Him with all of ourselves. We have to be willing to be honest, make amends, take responsibility for what is ours….When we do we will see change and that is a beautiful thing!


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