Exhaustion, Influenza, Christmas and More

I realize I have been pretty quiet here lately. It is hard for me to believe that I had the capacity to write every day for 31 days in October. I posted 9 times in November and only 3 times this month. I think God knew that I could handle it in October, because clearly the remainder of 2014 was going to be an all out war.

To lay it out there honestly, I am EXHAUSTED.

Pretty much everything life is throwing at me right now is too much, and most of that is self imposed I know. Some of it was unplanned and those things have hit me the hardest.

I have lit the candles on my advent wreath twice. There I said it. Day 2 and I think day 6. We read a smidgen of the book I had all perfectly laid out and the pages haven’t cracked since. Sure looks pretty but it is all show. Plain and simple I have failed having a spirit of Advent in our home this season.

Advent wreath

Our Christmas Angel has moved each day, but typically not at 9:30pm when my reminder alarm is set because Karlena is ALWAYS still awake…so I forget and scramble at 5:30am instead. One of the days I am going to get caught.

Christmas Angel

Last week Elijah was sick and out for 4 days, poor kid didn’t have his spunk….except for the day he was at home with me when our daycare was closed, the day after my surgery, when I should have been resting but he and Karlena fought and screamed so badly that I may have lost my temper at them that my screaming caused me to double over in pain.

Elijah sick

Yes THAT was a proud moment…the moment when you tell your kids that LITERALLY they are going to make their mama explode if they don’t stop fighting.

Heading right on into our weekend was Karlena’s first dance recital…where I stressed over getting the perfect ballet bun. We tried a couple of times and figured it out thanks to You Tube.

ballet bun

She was adorable and while she doesn’t seem to be a natural quite yet, she looked beautiful in her costume and fulfilled my mama’s dream of having a dance daughter.

Karlena ballerina


I have not wrapped a single Christmas present. NOT A ONE. My kids keep asking me to please wrap presents, but first I would have to box everything up into unidentifiable containers so that I can wrap in front of them, or with them as they would prefer….but this mama is EXHAUSTED. Did I mention that?

Oh and yesterday I went to see a Dr. because I was feeling like I wanted to die, and was told I likely have Influenza. (They don’t even bother testing when you have all the symptoms) Because OF COURSE. So go home and rest mama, and oh too bad so sad the pharmacies in town are all out of the meds to treat it. 🙁 I cried a little and crawled in bed. I posted an updated to FB and someone I know, who will remain nameless, contacted me because they had just had Influenza and had extra meds…because the week before the pharms were packed full of meds and they were filling scripts for the entire family. And one of the peeps in their family didn’t use/need the meds they bought. This may be some black market/illegial stuff going on but I was desperate.

But Praise Jesus – I mean seriously PRAISE JESUS. These meds were a LIFE SAVER. I told my mom I feel 800 thousand times better today. Not great, but I am not whimpering in a corner either. Life is looking up.

Christmas is ONE WEEK away, and did I mention that I have NOTHING wrapped? Oh, sorry I am still a little foggy here…I am going to just go with it. We may just celebrate Christmas up in Isaac’s closet….where all the presents are “hidden”…and I use the term “hidden” loosely, but since most of my children are too young to know I blog, they won’t read this soon enough to know to go and peek. Mom for the win.

Some day I will post my award winning, best ever stuffing cups recipe. Some day I will maybe even share my family Christmas letter…but for today I am hanging on by a thread, guilty over all the time away from the office I have spent in the last week…stressed over all there is to do in ONE WEEK, one week people! Agh!!

So may your days be Merry and Bright…around these parts I am just hoping for a little less insane! <3

10 thoughts on “Exhaustion, Influenza, Christmas and More

  1. Amy

    kristin!! I totally get you! But I think you should drop all the guilt- the advent guilt, the blog guilt, all the guilt. And chill out for the next two weeks. Tell your doctor to write an Rx for that. 🙂
    Also- you should totally just keep reading the advent until you’re finished. I mean, really, Jesus didn’t land on earth on December 25th anyway…so it doesn’t matter if you’re still talking about it and lighting the candles on January 21st! Take it from your super-OCD-all-or-nothing friend…I have had mother-advent-guilt for the last 3 years…but why? My parents never did a family advent devo with me! And I totally get why we do it (and I highly value it!) – but yeah, Jesus didn’t command our advent devos in the sermon on the mount or anything.
    I’m laughing because I sound like im ranting on a soapbox or something. MAybe I am- but it’s just because I want to give you a hug because I know exactly what you’re feeling! (But ps, your kids think you’re awesome, God loves you a million times more than you know, and you haven’t blown Christmas.) 🙂

  2. Beth S.

    I told someone yesterday that Christmas was in two weeks. 🙂 Praying for you, friend. Praying you continue to feel better and praying for God’s love and grace to cover you. Much love. xoxo

  3. Kristin Hill Taylor

    I understand. Really. Cate is running a fever. AGAIN. She hasn’t gone to school a full week since before Thanksgiving. And then I tried donating some food I collected for the local food pantry and a guy there turned me away because they were too busy right now. Really. Too busy to accept a donation. I don’t understand. I cried.

  4. Kristin

    I was just thinking how some years I seem to have Christmas all together – both inside and out. Advent, devotionals, presents, teacher treats, gifts for the neighbors! This year, not so much. I’m just going with the flow and know that God always provides what we need, when we need it.

    So sorry you have battled the flu. Get well, my friend. xo

    1. Kristin

      Thank you Kristin!! I may be hanging on but we have a scheduled week of rest coming VERY soon with our family. I can’t wait!! Merry Christmas to you and yours!

  5. Kathy

    God never said we could only celebrate His coming during December. We can celebrate Advent all year. If focusing on God’s coming is important, it could mean lighting a candle every Sunday until they are all lit. It could be remembering His birth whenever there are a few minutes when everyone is together. Maybe it is a family moment or perhaps it is a private moment every morning when you first get up. Just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean you have failed or that it will never happen. Give yourself the gift of grace!


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