I Want to Be…..

I have a quiet morning here at the office. Dominic is travelling out of town for the day and while I have a mountain of work that needs to be done, I wanted to take a moment to share how God has been moving in my heart.

I had a rare opportunity to make a short trip to Sioux Falls (my old hometown and the neighboring “big city”) on Sunday afternoon. I had several returns that I needed to make that I didn’t want to mail back and I wanted to make a run to Costco. We don’t get there often, but when we do we stock up on all the things. Since we had the threat (now likelihood) of an impending blizzard in the forecast, a supply run seemed appropriate.

I love time in the car alone by myself. I can crank up the music and sing LOUD. I don’t have a lot of time in the car without kids to do that and so these trips always feel like a gift to me.

Earlier that day one of our VBS coordinators from church had given me the CD with all the newest songs. I help lead the music and dancing portion of the evening during VBS and it is one of the highlights of my summer. It brings me SO MUCH JOY! I am NOT a dancer by nature. Erin (an actual dancer) creates all the moves and then about a week or so before VBS starts she teaches me and I do my best. But I find it easiest to get the dance moves down when I already have the lyrics memorized.

So I figured that my car time was the perfect time to rock out to some Roar VBS tunes! The music is so fun this year. The theme is “Life is Wild, God is Good.” And all of the music speaks to that message. Life can be hard and crazy and ever changing but God is good and He is present and always there for us.

Each year it seems like the music, the themes in our VBS lessons meet MY spirit in a way that I need so deeply. Last year our theme was Shipwrecked and the idea that God was our rescue. 2018 was a hard year for several reasons and especially in the late spring, early summer. As much joy as that week of VBS brought me, I found myself almost in tears over the worship music. Crying out to God to rescue me. Be my strength Lord because I can’t do this on my own…

And as I was listening to the music for this year I realized that it was such a celebration of God’s goodness. One of the songs is called Thankful. The lyrics spoke to me and described exactly how I want to live my life.

“I like to think about the goodness of the Lord. He gives me everything I need and so much more. And I just want to life my hands, and say that I love him, I just want to lift my heart in praise. I want to be thankful, I want to be grateful. I want to remember everything that the Lord has done. I want to be thankful, I want to be grateful, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be….”

This season we are in right now, while so very busy and filled with its own challenges, is a gift. I am SO very grateful for all the things God has done in and through me and for my family. I know the heartache we were experiencing a year ago and praise God for His faithfulness as He walked us through that season.

I just don’t want to forget. Because I know that be it another year, or two, maybe even a month or two from now we could be walking through another difficult season. (It is inevitable…we live in a fallen world) And God’s goodness WILL still remain. Yes there are times that we may only be able to cry out for rescue, but God is there and He is faithful. And in those times of great struggle we need to remember everything the Lord has done.

And sharing our stories of hope can be an encouragement to someone else who is hurting. Knowing that we are not alone in this journey is comforting, so that is one reason I feel called to write here….I want you to know that I understand the overwhelming darkness but have also danced in the light of God’s goodness. One thing that I know for sure is that God continues to supply me with everything I need and even in the darkest of times, His peace is felt.

Take some time today and make a list of all the ways God has been faithful to you. Write them down, keep them in a place that you can see them so you won’t forget. So in those dark moments you can cling to the reminder that God has been faithful, He has redeemed your broken places and trust that He will again.

I want to be thankful.

I want to be grateful.

I want to be…..

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