Thank you for joining me in my series 31 Days of Finding God. Each day I am going to use a prompt from Kate and incorporate that into how I am finding God in my everyday!
Yesterday I ran away.
There are some circumstances in my reality right now that I am not handling well (and it’s all me, me and my attitude, my perception, my negativity, my unwillingness to see the blessings.) In fact, if my view of things were different I probably wouldn’t be writing this post right now.
Instead I am sitting in my van, in a State Park close to my home, because I needed a change of scenery.
So I ran away.
I ran away from reality because I felt like I couldn’t handle it anymore.
I think that I have struggled for a long time with an inability or unwillingness to look at the positive side of life. I don’t know what it is exactly but my view of things at times feels skewed.
Everything around me could be perfect but I would find the one thing to feel negative about. It is something that I have struggled with and prayed about. Something that I’ve wrestled with God about and something that has driven me to run today.
So I ran away because I needed to see things differently. I needed to try and find a place that I could be alone with God and find a new perspective, a new view.
I did tell my oldest son and husband where I was going and when I would be back…don’t worry I am not completely insane. I grabbed my computer and my journal and my camera and headed in the direction of the State Park.
Just as I got onto the road it started to downpour. Out of nowhere, and with blue skies all around, it was raining so hard that it was difficult to see the road. But as quickly as it started, it stopped. The road was wet but the sun was shining. A reminder to me that sometimes it may feel like I am caught in a storm, but the reality is the storm is in me and the world around me is sunny and bright. My focus has become the rain.
When I got to the park I grabbed my camera and went on a hike. I took almost 60 pictures. The leaves are changing and it is beautiful.
I found a trail and I started walking. Walking and praying. Asking God to let me see all things through His eyes. That my view might not be marred by my own selfishness, irritability, and short temper. That I would be able to see the blessings in each moment and that I wouldn’t let the enemy take a foothold on me.
I believe that through God anything is possible and I claimed the promises of His righteousness, His strength, His power. And so as I walked, I praised His goodness and asked that He do a new work in me and through me.
Towards the very end of a the trail I heard a noise. I looked up and right in front of me were 2 deer. I walked slowly around the corner and they let me get pretty close to them. It was amazing.
It felt like a little love note from God (Right Delonna?!)
I don’t have an answer to what is next…but I know that God goes before me. I know that if I want to change my perspective, my view, I need to be in prayer constantly, seeking to see with His eyes. My own view is oppressive and ugly.
Because so often my view is skewed by the condition of my heart. (<====Click to Tweet)
But it is reality for me and something that I know God is working on in my character right now.
Can I be content in ALL things, even when my view is clouded by the troubles of this world? I am not good at this yet. In fact I am pretty downright lousy at being able to be content in ALL things.
I want my focus to always be on the blessings in my life. To seek and find the positives in all situations. But when my heart is full of selfishness and frustrations, well positive is about the last thing I see.
Instead I have to go to God with an honest heart, ask forgiveness for my weaknesses and ask Him to change my sight. Help me see Lord with Your eyes.
May my view of my life and those around me be one of thankfulness and wonder. Because with God I have the opportunity to see all things in a new light.
In Him, Kristin