Choosing NOT to Choose Joy

Choose Joy

Wow it feels like I haven’t settled in this space in quite awhile. I wrote my vacation posts, but I haven’t shared a heart post in way too long.

I specifically didn’t write while on vacation so that I could be more present with my family and once we got back it was all I could so to document everything we had done so that I didn’t forget. While I have notes of ideas for several posts, I just haven’t taken the time to write…and to be honest when I am stressed, well I start to get a little crazy-like, and that is where I found myself at the end of this week.

There are a number of things that “helped” get me to this place, some of which were a really pressured work week, VBS, where I got to help lead the actions and singing and it was the highlight of my days…but left me exhausted. (Seriously if I could JUST lead worship at VBS everyday for the rest of my life I would be a happy woman!) Tensions between Dominic and I. And our new puppy Sydney, who has been waking up at 4:30am the past 2 mornings so I have not been getting the sleep I need.

Did I mention we got a puppy? 🙂 She is the most loving, adorable puppy and I will have to do a post just to introduce her! The perfect addition to our family!!

Anyways, I woke with a pounding headache this morning and found myself in a “mood.”

It was not pretty and I wasn’t doing anything to fight against it.

I had missed  not made my Bible study a priority this week, sleeping in (when pup allowed) instead of doing my study of Acts. I was pretty light on my morning prayer time too so I wasn’t seeking or staying connected to God.

What a hypocrite that I would lead children in knowing more about God at night, and then not apply those same principals to my own life during the day. Sheesh!

I knew that I wasn’t in a good place but for some reason I decided to stew in that place today.

I voxed a couple of dear friends, heart sisters, that pray for me and can take snarky, sassy Kristin and still love me. I shared that I realized I was choosing NOT to choose joy.

My attitude was awful and I didn’t care. I have so many things to be thankful for and yet I refused to acknowledge them.

Whenever I get in these ruts I recognize it (well most of the time). Sometimes faster than others…and today I knew it pretty early on, and yet I let my irritations, anger and frustrations fester and boil.

How old am I?

I am pathetic I know, but haven’t we all been there? (Oh please tell me that I am not the only one!?!)

We find ourselves in that dark place, unable or unwilling to seek out the positive. To find those reasons to be grateful. To Choose Joy. 

And it IS a choice.

I do not have to stay in that place of negativity.

But at times I can’t see the positive on my own. I have to reach out to others for prayer and encouragement. I am so grateful that I have some women who are so faithful in praying with me and for me. Women that listen to my whining, speak truth to me and remind me not to remain in that place too long.

Yes I almost let the enemy have my day today. Almost, but not completely. Thank God for that!

So tonight, even though my circumstances haven’t changed much, I am going to choose joy. (<====Click to Tweet)

I am still tired, feeling a little frustrated, and anxious about my week ahead. But I can focus on all the negative or I can remember all of the things that I have to be grateful for. And the abundance of blessings that God has poured on to us is unreal.

How can I not choose joy?!

These aren’t easy lessons for me to learn. Quite frankly there are days that I wish it were easier…that God didn’t want to refine me because I stink at going through the fires. But somehow he takes my bad attitude and failures and makes something good from them.

Tonight I am holding out hope that this area of my life will be made beautiful as well.

And I am praying that for you as well. Stay strong friends, the enemy is out there seeking to destroy our happiness…fight to keep your joy, seeking God in all of it and giving Him the glory when the battle is won!

Kristin

Photo Credit: Virginia L 

0 thoughts on “Choosing NOT to Choose Joy

  1. ELaine L. O'Neill

    Me too Kristen. I made a list of the time wasters and my priorities this week. Time wasters? My dog is a big one and the computer is another one. I have to start writing again. I gotta get it right with Jesus. Doing all good things but not getting my Jesus time in order. May we use our time well this week for God’s glory.

    Reply
  2. Lisa

    Kristin really needed to hear this today. I feel like I have been feeling like this for weeks. I need to re-prioritize my Jesus time. To start choosing joy.

    Reply
  3. Sabra Penley

    Joy. Yeah, that’s what was missing yesterday when I paid $49 for a download and then I couldn’t get it to work. Joy was nowhere to be found! WAY too focused on how much time this was taking when that post said I could get everything up and running in 15 minutes. Right. A few tense words between me and my sweet husband who was trying so hard to help, but in my selfish mind getting in the way. Joy was nowhere to be found. Kristen, I needed to hear this this morning. I have more apologizing to do. I have more prayers to pray. And I need to refocus–to see the beauty of life all around me, even in the midst of problems and aggravating circumstances. Joy. It is a choice, indeed. Blessings to you!

    Reply
  4. Maria Marino

    I’m so glad I chose to read this and am overJOYed in the end you took the devil by the horns and slammed his plans to steal your joy to the ground…with a little help from your friends. Which reminded me of your post about your herd which made me smile all over again. God bless you Kristin for your powerful, transparent encouragement. <3 xo

    Reply
  5. Melissa

    I completely get the desire to wallow in the misery. At those times I have to remind myself that that has never helped anything–the situation OR my mood.

    Your post reminds me of something I read on Facebook this week:
    “Joy is not about happy feelings. It’s a settled assurance about God. A quiet confidence in God. And a determined choice to praise God in all things.” -Kay Warren, Choose Joy

    I can relate about VBS, too. Ours was last week, and each day was exhausting. I came home wanting nothing more than a nap.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today!

    Reply

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