On Saturday Dominic and I will celebrate 23 years of marriage. Sometimes it is incredible to me that I could be THAT old to be married so long! ha! But the reality is, it is a miracle that we are celebrating that many years at all.
I know that I have shared parts of our story here before. Not all of it…maybe some day. Honestly it would take too long, there are so many things that would speak to the truth that we should not be able to claim 23 years of marriage.
We were both incredibly selfish people. We freely admit that…well I didn’t for YEARS, let’s be honest, but today I can admit that. We focused on what WE wanted and what WE thought WE needed, we hurt each other with our words and our actions time and time again.
When we share parts of our story with others sometimes they can’t believe all that we walked through. A happy marriage was impossible, a family grounded in faith in God was impossible, joy and freedom from sinful behaviors was impossible. We just couldn’t do it.
Those have been and remain two of my most favorite words in the Bible. Because when you read it you know that something incredible is coming. Because WITH GOD nothing is impossible, if it is in His will.
There is a song I heard recently from I Am They called “No Impossible with You.” I will link a video below. It is such a good song. I will listen to it over and over again because it feels like an anthem to my life. Here is some of the chorus…
“There’s no heart You can’t rescue
No war You can’t win
No story so over, it can’t start again
No pain You won’t use
No wall You won’t break through
It might be too much for me
But there is no impossible with You”
I find so often in Christian circles that people will say “God won’t give me more than I can handle…” Heck I think in years past I wanted to believe that for myself. But today I call BS on that statement! (Sorry but I do!)
Where in the Bible does it say that God won’t give us more than WE can handle? The Bible does say that we will have troubles. And throughout we see story after story of impossible situations that are too much for man but WITH GOD’S HELP, become possible.
You see, I am prideful.
I would like to tell you that I am not, but I am. When I allow myself to take credit for the good in my life, I stop giving God the praise for EVERYTHING He has done to redeem my story. It is an internal battle that I face daily.
Without God my life is a mess. Dominic and I spent YEARS in a self-centered cycle of bitterness, anger, fighting and more. We were terrible people. I am not kidding. I am not saying that so you will say “you are so awesome…blah blah blah.” NO! Filthy rags, that was who we were.
Today, because of God’s intervention, our marriage and our family have been redeemed. We still struggle. Heck THIS VERY MORNING I was so irritated at Dominic because he was taking too long to pray over our family before we had to leave for school and we were running late.
Who am I? Getting irritated at my husband for praying over my family?! WHAT?! But you see THAT is the reality of who I am. Without God’s daily presence in my life there are walls and wars and struggles and lots of impossibles.
But with God there is hope and freedom and JOY, so much joy.
Today my husband works with other men who find themselves in difficult situations, he shares his experience and the hope he has and lives are being changed. I am so proud of the man he is. In 2006 I took active steps to start the process to seriously move forward with a divorce. I was done.
If it were up to me and my plans…we wouldn’t be married today. But God stepped in and when we became willing to let Him work in our hearts, things started to change.
“Your name is greater
Your love is stronger
Your ways are higher
There’s nothing that You can’t do
‘Cause there’s no impossible with You “
So on our wedding anniversary we don’t celebrate US but instead celebrate all that God has done through us. Our marriage is His, our story is His, our impossibles were made possible because of Him and I remain ever grateful.