31 Days of Seeking Him – Perhaps

31 Days of Seeking Him

It was a “perhaps” moment that changed the course of my life.

In 2008 I was suffocating from the loss of a pregnancy that we had tried so long and hard to have. I felt we deserved to be pregnant and when we lost the baby, I wondered why God would allow something so terrible to happen to me.

I didn’t know how to move past the feelings of anger and bitterness I was feeling. I finally admitted that I needed to see someone to talk through my feelings.

“Perhaps you should write a letter to your child.” she said.

At first thought it seemed a little crazy really, why would I write a letter to a baby I wouldn’t ever see this side of heaven? But I trusted her and wanted so badly to be well again…

Blogging was new to me at that time, but I had read a few that had a profound impact on my life and an old love of writing was stirred inside of me.

“Perhaps I will start a blog.”

And so I did. That letter to my child was one of the first posts that I wrote. I cried the ugly cry through the entire post and cry every time I go back and read it. So many hopes and so much love wrapped up in that post.

I hadn’t journaled or written anything in years. Life had gotten the best of me and having a creative outlet seemed impossible, but beginning that blog brought me back to life.

“Perhaps I will apply for this book launch team for one of my favorite authors.” 

Another pivotal moment. A yes and a welcome that again changed my life. Opening a door to not only life long friends, but a realization that we do all have a story and they need to be shared.

I was able to walk through some of my darkest times because you shared your stories and gave me hope. It is my honor to try and do the same here.

If there is something in your life that God has given you a passion for perhaps you should be brave and step out in faith and do it.

I know God in a completely different way than I did back in 2008. I have been seeking Him this entire time and it has been a journey, but one that has been life changing. Thank you so much for being a part of my story friends.

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