There were many years in my marriage that laughter was missing from our home. Fights and threats dominated our space instead of love and laughter. I worked really hard at staying angry because then I could be rotten as well.
When I think back on those times I wonder how it is that we survived?!
We didn’t have a relationship with God, or each other really that wasn’t contemptuous. My idea of God was terribly skewed and I thought that because He didn’t answer my prayer requests in the manner I had hoped, He must be punishing me.
It is hard to laugh and smile when anger permeates every piece of your being.
I recently read Fervent by Pricilla Schirer. It is a book that accompanies the War Room movie and it is amazing. In one of the chapters she talks about how the enemy works to keep us from a right relationship with our spouse and God.
Unforgiveness is one of the biggest weapons the enemy uses in this war.
For years I harbored unforgiveness in my heart. I didn’t want to forgive Dominic for things I “thought” were his fault. I needed to hold onto the anger. It was a vicious cycle and one that I am so glad we are free from.
It doesn’t mean that our marriage is 100% problem free. We work together full time and I over schedule us most days. We find ourselves worn and weary and irritable too. Feelings get hurt and forgiveness has to be asked for and given.
But recently we made a commitment to one another to not only forgive, but walk in that forgiveness. Don’t just say we forgive but treat the person as though we really do.
And you know what has been the result of that commitment?
Lots and lots of laughter.
Sometimes we are silly with our issuing of forgiveness. Sometimes it comes out a little sassy (I have a way about me at times…Dominic will tell you its true!) But we are laughing more than ever.
It feels good. We are connecting better, supporting better and encouraging more. And we are sharing laughter and are seeing the results. Our kids laugh more, we joke and probably behave inappropriately at the dinner table, but we are united and then enemy isn’t taking that away from me!
I know marriage can be hard. Life gets overwhelming, but do yourself a favor and find someone to laugh with. It really is the best medicine! Seeking God’s plan for our marriage, having hearts open to love and forgiveness has brought new life to our marriage and I am so grateful!
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