I can’t even remember what the argument was about.
I am sure I felt justified in my feelings (I always do) and thought that Dominic should just apologize for whatever it was and then things would be ok again. When that didn’t happen the way I thought it should, I got more and more angry.
He, it turns out, was hurt by what I had said or done and was waiting for me to come and apologize. There we sat on opposite sides of the home, angry and justified and waiting.
This is how the Saturday morning began that was supposed to be our special 20 year anniversary weekend away. We had arranged for Isaac to come and be with the kids, had reserved a cottage at a lake a few hours away and bought tickets to a murder mystery dinner for that evening.
20 years and you would think I would know better!
As a part of this murder mystery dinner we had been given specific parts to play. We had a suggested costume list and had spent some time gathering up everything for this night. We were excited about it, really excited.
So how did we end up almost missing it?!
Besides my stubborn pride and self-righteousness, I believe that the enemy was working hard to stir up discord in our home. It is a pretty big deal that we were celebrating 20 years of marriage. It was a big deal that we had planned this fun weekend away. Things in our relationship were good and as we know the enemy will stop at nothing to hurt and destroy us.
So that afternoon as I sat in our living room, angry, I KNEW it was an enemy attack. I knew it. But for several hours I was too stubborn to address it. I didn’t pray. I didn’t apologize. I stewed.
And then it was getting to be about the time that if we didn’t leave soon, there was no way that we would make it at all. So I went to talk to Dominic. Still prideful that I was the “right” one. Turns out as we talked that we both perceived the situation differently. We agreed that we still really wanted to go to the dinner and rushed around like crazy people to get out the door.
We made it there with minutes to spare.
Our special weekend almost didn’t happen. I almost let the enemy win that one and I couldn’t help but feel like it was a victory when we got their on time, changed into our costumes and completely enjoyed our evening. He almost won…but in the end he didn’t!
How many times have you found yourself in a situation where there is discord? Hurt has been exchanged, pride has bubbled to the surface and both parties are feeling justified?
Have you ever stopped to consider who or what is behind it?
Priscilla says this, “Even in knowing the truth, we can lose sight of where these attacks are originating from…from back there, behind the curtain. And by failing to take notice and remember, it’s not hard to lose our cool, our temper, and most of all our self-control before we ever find our way back to ultimate reality.”p 42
It is as though she was writing those words to describe me. Can you relate?!
The enemy is a master of discontentment. He wants us angry and bitter and full of justified pride. And when we are, well no one wins. It would have been a real shame if we had missed our entire weekend away. We needed that time, we deserved it!
I am grateful for forgiveness and that the God’s spirit prevailed in that situation. I think that the more we are going to God in prayer and the more we pray that we would be aware of the enemy’s schemes, the more that we will recognize when he is at work and start call it out.
Discord will happen, but when it does I challenge you to step back and ask who is stirring up the problem…maybe it isn’t your spouse or your child or your co-worker. Maybe the enemy is behind it all. Let’s call it out for what it is. Pray for protection and walk in God’s will for our lives!
Lord, we know the enemy will stop at nothing to hurt us derail us and keep us from you. Open our eyes to the truth. In those moments where pride or selfishness has entered in, convict us Lord and set us back on the right path. Help us develop a spirit of pausing to bring every thought to You so that we can see our situations clearly for what they are. In Jesus Name, Amen