Monthly Archives: August 2016

I Want to be That Woman

Be a Light

James 3:13 “Who in your community is understanding and wise? Let his example, which is marked by wisdom and gentleness, blaze a trail for others.”

Her name flashed across my phone as a call coming in. I was in the middle of my Bible study and I couldn’t answer it right then. It was a bit unusual that I was getting a call from this friend so I made a mental note to touch base with her when I was done.

I sent her a text an hour or so later when I was getting ready to drive back home, she asked if I was free and her call came in a moment later.

“I knew if I called you, you would pray” she said as she poured out the incredibly difficult news she had received earlier that day.

My heart was breaking for her and I worried that I wouldn’t have the “right” words to say to her. “It’s too big Lord.”

And then I remembered something that we had talked about in Bible Study just an hour before. We were on our last week of studying the book Fervent. I had the incredible opportunity to lead the 12 week study and even wrote the outline that we used to do so. God was in all the details with that one and I can’t wait to tell you more in October!

But that day we had discussed relationships and how the enemy will often attack even our Christian relationships. If he can bring dissension, he will. He wants to see us broken and weak and alone.  We talked about how we can fight against that. What does it look like to be a light in our church and our community?

Then we read James 3: 13-18. I happened across the Voice version and loved what it said.  James 3:13 “Who in your community is understanding and wise? Let his example, which is marked by wisdom and gentleness, blaze a trail for others.”

That is who I want to be, I had shared. A woman who is understanding and wise. A woman who is marked by wisdom and gentleness. I want to blaze a trail for others.

I know that I am not all there yet, but I have hope in God’s ability to continue to restore and refine me. And in the doing so, I want to be able to share that hope with others.

So this morning, in the darkness of my living room, I knelt before my couch and I prayed. It is embarrassing to admit that it had been a long time since I had prayed like that, with that much fervency. Here I had been leading a study on fervent prayer and my own prayer life had waned a bit.

But it didn’t matter at that moment. What mattered is that I wanted to follow through on my promise to pray.

I spoke bold, miracle-pleading prayers.

I believe my God can answer those prayers in the way I would like. I also know He may not. So I prayed for peace and understanding. I prayed for this friend and her family and I knew that God WOULD be there with them through this season.

I can’t begin to speculate on the outcome, but I know without a doubt that God can and will be glorified through it all. I also prayed that I would have discernment and wisdom so that I could be the best support possible to my friend.

We were texting this morning a bit and she asked “how do always have the right thing to say?” I laughed to myself and then told her that every once and awhile I listen to God’s leading and I have that “right” thing to share. But the reality is that I am human too and it is also just as likely that I will get angry or frustrated and snap at my husband or kids, right after being fully filled with God’s wisdom.

I don’t get it right most of the time. But I still want to be THAT woman.

I want to blaze a trail for other women to follow.

I can’t do that on my own though, God must go before me. It is only through Him that I am able to be any hope to another. It is an honor and a privilege to walk out this faith journey and share it with others. I know what a mess I am most days and so if God can use me He can use any of us!

So walk with me won’t you? Blaze a trail of your own and be THAT woman to someone else! And if you would, please join me in praying for my friend. God knows who she is and what her specific need is. I will continue to pray for a miracle, trusting that God will be there regardless of the outcome.

A Curly Girl Hair Routine

Curly Girl 1

Alright friends, it once again has been a LONG time since I have updated about life here. The summer in our part of the state is still going strong and school won’t start for another 3 weeks (Lord help me those kids need to GO.BACK.TO.SCHOOL!!) Can I get an Amen?!

Anyways, I have been writing. But I can’t share what I am working on yet. It started with writing a study guide for the book Fervent and has led into a 31 day series that I am sharing in October! I am pretty excited about having over 1/3 of my posts fully written in early August. But it means that other writing has taken a back seat.

But last night at Bible study I was sharing my hair woes. I showed up with my hair in a ponytail. Which I never do unless I am having a real bad hair day. Which led to the discussion about my curly hair routine. It is pretty laughable and so I thought it would be fun to share here!

I was sent a new product to try and review that was a shampoo and conditioner. It did not get my glowing review, thus the ponytail…but I have weird, finicky hair and specific steps that I MUST take each day so that I don’t look freakish.

So a little background.

I had stick straight hair, and apparently a solid mullet as a child. Evidence below…

Kristin teenage pic

When I was 10 maybe 12 I started getting a perm at the local beauty school. It was the 80’s and what you did.

Kristin child pic

Once I started getting perms, it seemed the easiest way to do my hair. I have very fine hair but lots of it. So it can look thick, but if I try and wear it straight now it behaves terribly. The routine I will share in a minute would be 3x longer if I wanted to try and wear straight hair every day. And I have a longer face…straight, no body hair gives me a horse face. I don’t have a picture to prove it, so you are going to have to trust me on this! 😉

When I had Isaac I decided to cut all my hair off. It was SHORT. And Dominic hated it. It took me years, painfully slow years to grow it back out. Once it got long enough I permed it again to give it body. I like the big hair I guess, if it can’t be beautiful, sleek hair then it should be Texas big! ha!!

With each pregnancy my new hair seemed to grow in more and more curly. So today I think I have a mix of natural curl and perm. I get a perm about every 18 months or so. She uses these long rods which are different than the rods I traditionally had. Something like this. Only hers are more narrow and white. But you get the point.

Perm rods

The perm gives my hair nice curl, and good volume. But I think it looks pretty natural. Just a few days after my perm it doesn’t have that 80’s frizz look. Over the years I have tried EVERY shampoo, gel, mousse combination possible. I have finally found a system that my hair seems to respond well to. (I am telling you it is finicky hair) If I change it up my hair goes nuts. Every single time.

Steps

Deva Curl No-Poo shampoo is the only shampoo I like. Other shampoo makes my hair shaft expand 3 times its normal size. The product I was sent to test out made my hair a snarly ball in the shower.! It was awful. No-poo shampoo doesn’t create suds, but it still cleans your hair. I could easily comb through my hair in the shower, it keeps my hair light and non-expanded. The conditioner just adds some moisture.

A few years ago I read that curly girls shouldn’t use towels on their hair, but a t-shirt. Something about the towel sucking out the moisture too fast and causing frizz. So I have 2 t-shirts that I use each morning. One for when I get out of the shower, and another to use after all the products have been added.

So I wear t-shirt #1 while I get dressed and then I start the process of layering on my products. Layering? Seriously guys this hair of mine!! Anyways, I use Redkin snap to strengthen my ends and a small, pea-sized amount of argon oil right before I comb through my hair. Everything I do, I do with my head upside down. There is something about doing it this way that seems to comb easier, stress less, etc. It works, try it!

Once I have combed through (I use a pick) I apply my mousse. The only mousse that my hair likes is L’Oreal Everstyle Alcohol free curl enhancing mousse. It is light-weight and not sticky. I don’t know that the company is making it any more. I have probably 8 cans I bought in bulk in my closet. It is less than $6 a bottle and I will cry if I ever can’t find it anymore!!

After the mousse comes my Deva curl light defining gel. I use one-half a pump. So not much. The 32oz jug I bought 2 years ago is less than 1/2 full still. It lasts me a long time!

Steps Final

The entire time, I have my head upside down and I am scrunching my hair up. The final step {for now} is to use some Moroccan sea salt spray. This too is a light-weight product, but gives my hair extra bounce. Finally I get out t-shirt #2 and wrap up my hair to dry while I do my make-up.

If I let my hair naturally dry, it is lifeless and a little crunchy. If I use a hairdryer it gets too frizzy. So a few years ago I discovered that if I sit in front of a space heater it dries the outside layer enough so that I can curl it and gives it body, but doesn’t leave it too frizzy.

Seriously, do you know anyone who needs to use a space heater to dry their hair?! My hair has it’s own DIVA personality!

Wet with heater

So in the picture above it me with wet hair, and my trusty space heater. :):)

Scrunch and Dry

While I sit, I scrunch, always the scrunch to help enhance the curls. The picture above it me scrunching away and the after picture once it is dry. (It is not fully dry…the underneath layer is always still damp and just dries naturally.

Now I am almost done!! YAY! I am tired, aren’t you?!

I have never found a hairstyle that has allowed me to not pull my hair back a little. I can’t stand having hair in my face, and I don’t want to be constantly tucking it behind my ears…so I pull it back every day. It used to bother me but then I remembered that girls with straight hair, or short hair pretty much style their hair the same every day too…I am no different.

Before and After

My final step is to curl the very bottoms of the front of my hair and add in some soft curls around my face. My ends, even when newly cut, can have a bit of frizz to them…the curling iron softens those. I don’t have to do much else, but set it with hairspray.

At this point I have been up 4 hours and 42 minutes…ha! Kidding!! But I would say that everything, start to finish, including showering, dressing, my make-up etc takes me a full hour. I do not have wash and go hair. I can’t skip a few days and not wash in between either. My hair would be gross if I did that. Dry shampoos don’t work on my hair, so this is a routine I have mastered and accepted as my life.

Seems a bit extreme doesn’t it?! I am so jealous of those women who can just wash and go, or dry brush and go. I may never know that kind of luxury!! #curlygirlproblems

Are you a #curlygirl? What are some of the products you use that you love?! I’d love to hear!!

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